


Edgy Neko Voice Synths

by Scottei



Category: Chipspeech, UTAU, Vocaloid, Warriors - Erin Hunter, 歌い手 | Utaite
Genre: Chihuahua!Rook, Crack, Crack Crossover, Gen, Ridiculous cat names
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-05-13 17:36:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5711137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scottei/pseuds/Scottei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>VocaClan, well-known and not an anime. FreewareClan, proud and problematic. RainbowClan, do not steal. And OtherClan, who are kind of like Hufflepuff I guess.</p><p>These are the four clans of the Keytar Forest. For generations, they have lived in relative harmony. But when the medicine cat of Vocaclan receives a chilling prophesy and promptly ignores it, dangerous ideals go unchallenged, and new voices call for blood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Fire alone can save our clan..." 

The medicine cat whispers into the whistling wind.

"Yes, that seems like a good start to my romcom," she decides, scratching words onto the stick she seems to carry around with her.

It is at times such as this that Miriam Engloidpelt feels calm and at ease, away from all those nasty illnesses and injuries. Alone in the misty moors of Keytar Forest on a cloudy night, Miriam Engloidpelt could not be happier.

Alas, her happiness is relatively short lived.

"If you love that stick so much, why don't you marry it?"

If Miriam Engloidpelt rolled her eyes any further, they would fall out of her head.

"Can I help you, Ryuto Gachapaw?"

"Yes. Marry the stick."

"Fuck off, Gachapaw, the ancestors gave me this stick. I use it to communicate with StarClan."

For once, Ryuto Gachapaw seems pleased with this answer.

"Who in StarClan do you talk to?"

"It isn't like they introduce themselves, Gachapaw. They're a bit more mysterious and collective then that."

"But..." Gachapaw's ears lower. "I thought we go to StarClan when we die. That we join StarClan."

"Indeed we do," Engloidpelt says with a sage nod. Years of medical practice were required for such a wise head motion. "But we do not usually retain our individual identity. We become the collective, one star among many making up the sky."

"But..." 

Ryuto Gachapaw sniffles.

"I w-want to see mom..."

Miriam Engloidpelt doesn't have the heart to tell him he's adopted.

"Well..." Engloidpelt looks up at the sky once more, the wind catching her long pelt. "Perhaps I'm wrong. Perhaps your mother is watching over you, and wasn't eaten by the cosmic collective ameoba."

Gachapaw's furious crying and running away alerts the wise medicine cat to choose her anologies more carefully next time.


	2. Chapter 2

Vocaclan is not the only group of insufferable jerks to inhabit Keytar Forest. They're not even the only group of insufferable jerks who are cats, although the humans inhabiting the frathouse near Otherclan territory are so insufferable they deserve a mention regardless of the species being focused upon.

In any case, Ruko Yokusleepface is almost inseparable from Rook Barkingmouth. This is probably in Barkingmouth's best interests; he does not fit in with the rest of clan very well due the fact he has failed to convince anybody he is not actually a chihuahua. (He is not alone in this delusion; all chihuahuas do not consider themselves chihuahuas, however, the majority do not cross the species barrier and instead decide that they are simply bigger dogs.) But with that being said, even Mako Nagoquickstep, who's been hit in the face by Barkingmouth's wagging tail thousands of times due to their beds' proximity, must admit that he has his use in the clan. There has not been an intrusion in Freewareclan territory for many moons, for there is no creature fiercer than a chihuahua who does not believe he is a chihuahua.

Nevertheless, times are difficult in Freewareclan. Due to the clan's massive size and relatively shit luck, obtaining enough food to survive the winter is an almost impossible task.

It does not aid matters that the clan leader is relatively incompetent.

"Tei Sukonightwhisper!" an overly enthusiastic "cat" cries in greeting. "Welcome back!"

Sukonightwhisper gives merely a nod of acknowledgment to the curly-furred ginger clan leader, who is currently trotting over.

"How was the hunting?"

"Far from excellent."

The two creatures have little in common save vaguely feline features. Teto Kasabatwing, the clan leader, has a loud voice, always full of some kind of emotion. Small of stature and somehow having bat wings on her back, it isn't clear why she gets along well with her deputy. Sukonightwhisper is tall and lean, somehow always having a secretive air about her in spite of her light-gray fur. Sukonightwhisper's eyes are cold, red, and intelligent, while Kasabatwing's are pink, bright, and playful.

This information was not needed for you to understand the plot, but now you can draw fanart of them.

"We must take this situation seriously, Kasabatwing," Sukonightwhisper continues. "Our territory is inadequate to feed our growing size."

"I'm sure we'll manage." Teto seems somewhat unsure, but somehow mews with confidence anyway.

"Perhaps if we--"

Teto Kasabatwing places a paw over her deputy's mouth, as she is a digitigrade animal and thus cannot shush with one finger.

"We are not going to raid other clans, Sukonightwhisper. I won't stand for it."

Tei hisses and takes a few steps back, but keeps her fur flat and her ears perked. She knows better than to directly challenge a cat who can somehow breathe fire.

Seeing this as an indication the conversation is over, Teto trots over to the next cat who takes her interest, having apparently forgotten the conversation that just inspired. Tei, however, does not have such a short attention span, instead gently hitting her forepaws against the ground.

Aiko Kikyuujumpingsky and Momo Momomomomomomomomomopelt, currently lying in the sun to relax after the usual midday patrol, both give each other a look.

"There goes Tei, she's back at it again," mews Kikyuujumpingsky in a manner somewhat like a pensioner watching the world go by.

"Mmmhm," her pink-haired friend purrs in agreement.

Tei can hear the two gossip, but as usual pretends not, continuing her routine as usual. She walks in a tight circle twice, lies down, curls up tightly, and stares off into space.

Every member of Freewareclan knows what this means. The deputy is plotting evilly, as she does every day. When she first started this habit, few cats took it seriously, as it started as a way to wean herself off a somewhat shameful habit involving cucumbers; trading one addiction for another. But now the memories of Tei's sexual deviance have mostly faded, leaving just a small amount of concern.

Of course, nobody would actually act upon those fears. If You See Something, Say Something has no translation into feline.

And as such, Tei plots.


End file.
